Miyagi's Fortieth Birthday
by yunakitty
Summary: Terrorist with a visit by Egoist. Kamijou gives Miyagi a little blue pill as a gag gift for his 40th birthday, and the results are a bit disastrous. I apologize for what you're about to read, but it was funny and I had to write it! One-shot, future.


"What the hell is _that_?" The now twenty three year old Shinobu Takatsuki hissed.

Miyagi turned the blue pill over and over in his hands. "Ah, my assistant professor gave it to me as a gag gift for my fortieth birthday," he laughed.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Probably. His husband is a doctor, after all. He probably got it as a free sample, or something."

"I don't like it." Shinobu folded his arms over his chest. "He shouldn't be joking with you so intimately."

"Aw, come on. I've told you a million times that there is NOTHING between me and Kamijou. It's just harmless joking. Shinobu-chin, I love only you," Miyagi breathed, leaning down and kissing his younger lover.

"Hmph." Shinobu pouted, but he couldn't hide the pleased flush that stained his cheeks. "So, what, are you going to try it?"

"Why not?" Miyagi smiled slowly.

"You don't need it, you know," Shinobu scoffed. "You get it up just fine. That's for REALLY old geezers, not just partially old geezers like you."

Miyagi laughed. "Still...I've heard it makes sex even hotter." He popped it into his mouth before Shinobu could stop him.

"Don't!" Shinobu cried, but it was too late. Miyagi swallowed the Viagra smoothly. "Oh, goddamn it," Shinobu muttered. "I'm in for it now, aren't I?"

"Not for an hour," Miyagi laughed. "It takes a while to take effect. So why don't you make me a birthday dinner?"

"Fine..." Shinobu went into the kitchen. He remembered the days when all the could cook was cabbage, but he had progressed far beyond that in the past five years. He turned on the stove and quickly began preparing Miyagi's favorite meal, hamburger steak with onions and gravy.

Halfway through eating it, Miyagi smiled widely. "I think it's working," he said, unbuckling his belt and unfastening his pants to look at his erection.

"Don't just do that at the dinner table!" Shinobu protested. He sighed heavily, then took a long swig of water. "Fine, fine, let's go and fuck this thing out," he huffed.

An hour later, after they had both come three times, they collapsed onto the bed, wheezing. "That's enough! I can't take anymore!" Shinobu cried. He eyed Miyagi's unwavering erection suspiciously. "When is that thing going to go down?" he hissed, his ass feeling sore and tired.

"Soon," Miyagi breathed, lighting a cigarette.

However, two hours later, and the thing was still standing proudly. "Um...I think something is wrong," Shinobu said.

Miyagi scowled and crossed his legs, wincing slightly. Even though he was dressed, it was still fairly obvious that he was still hard. "It's fine, it's fine," he laughed, mock nonchalantly.

"No, it's not!" Shinobu argued. "I remember on the commercials for that stuff that it says, 'If you experience an erection lasting for more than four hours, consult your doctor.' So something is wrong!"

"It's only been 3 hours," Miyagi scoffed. "And besides, why were you paying such close attention to those commercials?"

Shinobu blushed. "Because! I figure, your old ass is going to need it someday, so I'd better know about it ahead of time."

"Oh god," Miyagi hissed, puffing another cigarette.

"Seriously, though! We have to go to the hospital or something!"

"No! No way! I am NOT marching into a hospital with this thing!" Miyagi barked, turning away protectively. "I have _some _pride left, you know!"

"But what if ignoring it breaks it or something? It could get gangrene!"

Miyagi blanched, stubbing out his cigarette. "Shit. You're right. I can't have it breaking; I have a horny little twenty something I have to keep satisfied." He grabbed the phone. "I'm calling Kamijou; this was all his fault to begin with."

"No! Don't call him!"

"Why not?! I told you, his husband is a doctor! He'll know what to do, and we can spare the public embarrassment!" Miyagi's fingers were already dialing, and soon the demon professor himself answered.

"What?"

"Kamijou~! That miracle pill you gave me has given me an unending erection!"

The line was silent for a moment. "So? Go fuck till it goes down!"

"I DID! Three times! The thing_ won't_ go down, and little Shinobu-chin here is worried because of the small print on the commercials for this shit. So he wanted me to have your doctor man check it out."

"Forget it. Nowaki is a pediatrician. Old man boners are not his specialty."

"Pleeeease? Kamijou? After all I've done for you?"

"Ha! What the hell have you ever done for me?"

"Cleaned your come off the library floor. And damn, that shit was sticky."

"Fine!!! We're coming over!"

An hour later, Kamijou and Nowaki showed up at Miyagi's apartment. Nowaki looked skeptical as he entered. "I'm not really sure if I can help with this..." he sighed, but he opened up his black doctor's bag nonetheless.

Miyagi just sat in the chair, and Kamijou had to bark at him. "You idiot! Show him the problem!"

Shinobu cried out. "No! Don't show your dick to him!" He didn't want his supposed rival to see the goods.

Kamijou glared at the boy, Miyagi sighed in a tired fashion, and Nowaki just looked confused. Miyagi reluctantly unfastened his pants and revealed the neverending erection. Kamijou blushed and looked away, while Nowaki approached with a curious look on his face. "Hmmm...well, it's not really in the realm of pediatrics, but I do know a little bit from basic medicine. What you have here is priapism. The blood flow is cut off, and it can't drain back, resulting in this."

"So? What can we do about it?"

Nowaki pulled his chin. "Well, the most obvious solution is orgasm. But since you've tried that," he coughed, "three times, and it still didn't retract, there's only one thing to do." He rummaged in his bag, and Miyagi looked hopeful, wishing for a simple cream or pill.

Nowaki's hand emerged from the bag, holding a fourteen gauge needle and syringe. Miyagi fainted dead away, and Shinobu began screaming. "Noooo! You can't stick that in his dick!"

Nowaki sighed. "I'm afraid we have no choice. If we don't remove the blood, the organ could become gangrenous." He looked at the unconscious professor, and shrugged. "Well, it's probably better if he's out for this..." he said, then glanced at his husband. "Ah, Hiro-san, you may want to leave the room. This won't be pleasant."

"And when is anything involving this dunderhead EVER pleasant? I'm fine..."

Nowaki nodded, and inserted the tip of the needle into the base of Miyagi's manhood. Miyagi awoke and began to scream loudly, and Kamijou rushed forward to hold him down to the chair as Nowaki drained the blood. Miyagi thrashed and panted, but years of practice gave Kamijou the strength to hold him at bay.

Finally, the deed was done, and Miyagi's member softened and went back to its normal state. "It's a miracle," Shinobu breathed.

Miyagi looked positively green. "I need a cigarette," he croaked, as Nowaki bandaged the puncture wound.

"Oh, just pull your damn pants up," Kamijou snapped. "Come on, Nowaki, let's go. This has taken up enough of our time."

Nowaki closed his bag with a soft click, and rose to follow his Hiro-san. "I told you it was a bad idea to give him that as a gag gift," he whispered.

"Shut up! Don't you think I know you're right by now?!" The two lovers' voices slowly faded out as they exited the apartment.

Shinobu wordlessly handed Miyagi his cigarettes and lighter, choosing to forgive the man's vice in this moment. "Never again," he said firmly. "I don't care if I do have to ride your half hard seventy year old dick some day. We're not going through THAT again."

"Fine with me..." Miyagi mumbled, lighting a cigarette and sighing.


End file.
